Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Why the Hell Not.

The wagon master (my mom) will be here tomorrow night and so I should have been after my house with haste. Instead it has been like two turtles... No, seriously, I am taking an official break but if there had been a witness, they would say Humph, you been taking a break all day girl. That little green devil on my shoulder agreed when I said to myself, just now, why the hell not.
Yesterdays' wait on the mechanic drained me. And, a fixed car is bittersweet when the budget has been burdened by roughly what it cost to feed us for a month. I know we will figure "it" out. But gawd I am tired of pretending I believe in that particular fairy tale. 
I guess I was spoiled by a mechanic for a father who used to take me under the pickup when I first started to break them.
He would say, "See this. It is not supposed to hang off like this." Now, I think mechanics take advantage of the fact I am not sure what is going on under my hood. It is hard for me to feel faithful or grateful for the services rendered after it has been tendered.
Alas, it was nice to kick up a dust tail on my way home last night. It was the first dust tail in my rear view mirror this season. That dirt road country song came on the radio and I cracked open a cold one to toast. The little green devil said, why the hell not.
I told my BFF one time that a tire that won't hold air makes me hyperventalate.
If a useless tire can do all that, you should have been alone inside my wild mind this past month.
While I put-put-putted around the valley at less than 5 miles per hour; and never so much further than 2.5 miles from home; unless we HAD to. There were NO dust tails. 
A life without dust tails is pretty dull. I am B.O.R.E.D. with it. So it has been mosey me all day. I've been after my to-do list, but just barely. I put on huge orange beach hat while I trudged and even that did not pick me up to a walk.
The only thing I can say for sure is all the loose change has been relocated to the secret road trip coffee can in my office. And, a plan to hit up a Coinstar machine before I jump this county on my way to T-town is rolling across the back of my mind like thunder. And the little green devil on my shoulder is not exactly whispering, why the hell not.
The truth is, I had much higher expectations for this summer. When I started the jaunt to journey campaign I was itchy enough to get on down that old dirt road; I am optimistic by nature and actually believed I would figure "it" out.
I remember telling a certain someone about it (I was still excited then) and their response was this, "So your blog is like an alternate reality. A fairy tale for you." Nice. I love a good throat punch.
Now that we fixed my old Mommy car and its ready to range my budget is like ploof and that whole jaunt to journey thing does sound like an alternate reality. Even to me. I am not necessarily impressed that I put it out there that I believe in fairy tails. Perhaps I was high on chicken poop dust when I wrote it. Maybe it was not tumbleweed wishes, but that little green devil? I am not sure right now. 
Talk to you on the flip side of this mood. I have a date planned for this weekend while the boys camp with their grandma. I am going to derail this funk--ahem, suck down some Captains, and stab the figure "it" out fairy tale with the pitch fork that belongs to the little green devil on my shoulder. Why the hell not.
Before I go I just want to put up one road cone. I love your comments and I do hope somebody comments every time I blog, but given my mood, would you all save me from reading, "You are not alone. A lot of people are having a hard time (financially) right now." It does not comfort me. The meager existence does not love company.
Loves and dust tails to you today,
July, 7 2011

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